Dear CEO, do not employ a guard dog, then do the barking yourself

From : Senior Consultant

Thank you for your letter that informed us that a thief attempted to break into your house last week.

We shall investigate the matter and reply to you within 24 hours.

John Vong


FROM: Dr John Vong

Your bank requested me to investigate an attempted robbery at your house a fortnight ago.
Our summary report is as follows.

Investigation process
1. Conducted interviews with Security Personnel on duty on the night in question
2. Conducted a health check and barking ability of the Guard Dog
3. Traced the steps of the thief as he entered the CEO Residence and the time taken for each phase of the break-in and entry

1. The Security Personnel went to the toilet at 2.15am and returned at 2.40am (had a bad case of curry in a hurry)
2. The Guard Dog is a very obedient and well trained dog (he could even jump over the fence and bark upon hearing unusual noises without having the evidence of sight). The dog won the Harvard SSS honors (Security, Surveillance and Smelling).
3. The thief broke into into the house exactly at 2.20am (evidenced by a high-pitch signal alarm, not heard by humans, at the side gate of the garden)
4. The Guard Dog heard the high-pitch signal alarm and immediately reached the garden lawn at 2.23am.
5. The thief went into the Library at 2.25am, where another alarm was triggered.
6. The thief then tried to open the safe at 2.30am setting off another high-pitch alarm.
7. The Guard Dog rushed to the Library and reached there at 2.35am
8. Tne thief entered the CEO's bedroom at exactly 2.39am and the the Guard Dog arrived at exactly 2.40am.
9. The CEO then ordered the Guard dog to remain silent, and himself started barking at the thief very loudly.
10. The thief did not steal anything because of his intense laughing at the CEO (captured on video camera)

1. The Guard Dog was not given a chance to perform his job according to his job description.
2. The CEO is micro-managing and trying to control things that he hired others to do.
3. The CEO does not trust the Guard dog even though he chose the best guard dog he can hire from the Sherlock Holmes School of Security
4. The Guard Dog is now de-motivated because he is prevented to do the job he has been trained and hired to do.

1. Remove the Guard Dog from guarding the CEO Residence (and save resources and cost)
2. The CEO may choose to attend Barking Classes to further improve his barking skills (if not then, shut up, and let the barking be done by people trained for that barking job

C'est incroyablement du plaisir de vous lire

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
You clearly know what youre talking about,
why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog
when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?